Why don't they give out fivers?
What better place to start? At the root of all evil. Not money of course, stupidity.
My hatred of ATM machines is manifested in many ways, and I will attempt to spell them out here.
1. The machines themselves. As alluded to in the title of this post, it seems to me that all cash machines in the country are set up with the intention of only dispensing the most awkward note dominations that they can. Its not just that no machines in the country ever give out fivers anymore (easily the best note around), but is there anything more annoying than a scenario like this? You have no cash on you, you want to buy a newspaper, and the only cash machine you can get to will only give out twenties! So, you either have to try to buy a paper with a 20 (bearing in mind that even the Sunday papers are only about a quid), and risk the wrath of the shopkeeper or buy something else. SO THE CASH MACHINE HAS COST YOU MONEY.
2. Users. This applies to a great number of urban irritations, and is a useful theory to stick with through life. Stupid people should not be allowed out of the house.
Anyone who has ever waited behind someone at a cash machine will know what I mean. Card goes in (after a few attempts to put it in the wrong way), stupid person dithers a bit over the PIN, stupid person asks for a mini statement, stupid person analyses mini statement for a few minutes (oblivious to the ever-expanding queue of people behind), stupid person retrieves card, dithers over getting it back into purse/wallet then.....pulls out another card and starts over.
3. This machine is currently not dispensing cash. Well fucking fix it then! This only panders to the stupid people mentioned above who think that these machines are multi purpose. They are not. They are there to dispense cash! If they are not dispensing cash they may as well be removed. Now, there's an idea!
Unfortunately, although I hate ATMs we as society have no choice but to use them. Yes, we can queue up in the bank and get cash over the counter but, in doing so, you have to face the inevitable questions about whether you want a loan, mortgage, credit card, new account. And people wonder why Britain is in debt! Look no further than the high street banks' 'Withdraw a fiver and get a free 30 grand loan' policy sherlock!
My hatred of ATM machines is manifested in many ways, and I will attempt to spell them out here.
1. The machines themselves. As alluded to in the title of this post, it seems to me that all cash machines in the country are set up with the intention of only dispensing the most awkward note dominations that they can. Its not just that no machines in the country ever give out fivers anymore (easily the best note around), but is there anything more annoying than a scenario like this? You have no cash on you, you want to buy a newspaper, and the only cash machine you can get to will only give out twenties! So, you either have to try to buy a paper with a 20 (bearing in mind that even the Sunday papers are only about a quid), and risk the wrath of the shopkeeper or buy something else. SO THE CASH MACHINE HAS COST YOU MONEY.
2. Users. This applies to a great number of urban irritations, and is a useful theory to stick with through life. Stupid people should not be allowed out of the house.
Anyone who has ever waited behind someone at a cash machine will know what I mean. Card goes in (after a few attempts to put it in the wrong way), stupid person dithers a bit over the PIN, stupid person asks for a mini statement, stupid person analyses mini statement for a few minutes (oblivious to the ever-expanding queue of people behind), stupid person retrieves card, dithers over getting it back into purse/wallet then.....pulls out another card and starts over.
3. This machine is currently not dispensing cash. Well fucking fix it then! This only panders to the stupid people mentioned above who think that these machines are multi purpose. They are not. They are there to dispense cash! If they are not dispensing cash they may as well be removed. Now, there's an idea!
Unfortunately, although I hate ATMs we as society have no choice but to use them. Yes, we can queue up in the bank and get cash over the counter but, in doing so, you have to face the inevitable questions about whether you want a loan, mortgage, credit card, new account. And people wonder why Britain is in debt! Look no further than the high street banks' 'Withdraw a fiver and get a free 30 grand loan' policy sherlock!
posted by ChiefMoaner at 4:56 PM
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