Christmas Rants Number Two - TURKEY
I am not a vegetarian. I eat meat every day. I have no problem with vegetarians, but I also have no problem and feel no guilt about eating meat. So my problem with turkey is not a moral issue.
The problem I have with turkey is far far simpler. I don't like it. Not many people seem to. Yet, every year we all go out and buy a Turkey that is twice the size of anything we eat on any other Sunday of the year. Why? Is turkey available the rest of the year? Yes it is. Are chicken, beef, lamb, pork, duck etc available at Christmas? Yes they are. Is turkey some kind of delicacy that is a special 'treat' we can only afford once a year? Hell no.
And what makes matters worse, we do not confine our eating of this oversized dryer version of chicken to lunchtime on Christmas day. Oh no, the bastard thing is still hanging around a good few days later, by which time it has stretched to at least 3 further disappointing meals.
Thinking that there might be an ancient slightly quirky reason why we eat turkey at Christmas I did a quick google search on the subject, and the only reason I came across that was of any interest at all was that it goes back to the days of Henry VIII. (As most things seem to. Did ANYTHING ever happen before that??)
Apparently (and take this story with the biggest mound of salt you can find) everyone always ate goose at Christmas until the royal lard arse himself one day decided he would have turkey. And since then everyone started eating turkey at Christmas.
Seems very unlikely doesn't it? For a start, how would people know? Communication can't have been the best in the 1500s and it can hardly have been headline stuff even on a slow news day.
Also, we are talking about a fella who it is widely accepted rather enjoyed his food. Chances are he had already polished off a few geese, half a cow and several wild boar before he ate the turkey. If everyone copied his eating habits the population would surely have died out.
And lastly, why would people suddenly decide to change their eating habits just because he did? Goose is generally accepted to be (and is) much nicer. So why change to turkey just because the monarch does? If only it was the same today. All that we would need to do is leak to the press that the Queen actually enjoys a nice steak for Christmas dinner and the battle would be won.
And as a delightful bonus Bernard Matthews might be driven out of business. Bootiful!
The problem I have with turkey is far far simpler. I don't like it. Not many people seem to. Yet, every year we all go out and buy a Turkey that is twice the size of anything we eat on any other Sunday of the year. Why? Is turkey available the rest of the year? Yes it is. Are chicken, beef, lamb, pork, duck etc available at Christmas? Yes they are. Is turkey some kind of delicacy that is a special 'treat' we can only afford once a year? Hell no.
And what makes matters worse, we do not confine our eating of this oversized dryer version of chicken to lunchtime on Christmas day. Oh no, the bastard thing is still hanging around a good few days later, by which time it has stretched to at least 3 further disappointing meals.
Thinking that there might be an ancient slightly quirky reason why we eat turkey at Christmas I did a quick google search on the subject, and the only reason I came across that was of any interest at all was that it goes back to the days of Henry VIII. (As most things seem to. Did ANYTHING ever happen before that??)
Apparently (and take this story with the biggest mound of salt you can find) everyone always ate goose at Christmas until the royal lard arse himself one day decided he would have turkey. And since then everyone started eating turkey at Christmas.
Seems very unlikely doesn't it? For a start, how would people know? Communication can't have been the best in the 1500s and it can hardly have been headline stuff even on a slow news day.
Also, we are talking about a fella who it is widely accepted rather enjoyed his food. Chances are he had already polished off a few geese, half a cow and several wild boar before he ate the turkey. If everyone copied his eating habits the population would surely have died out.
And lastly, why would people suddenly decide to change their eating habits just because he did? Goose is generally accepted to be (and is) much nicer. So why change to turkey just because the monarch does? If only it was the same today. All that we would need to do is leak to the press that the Queen actually enjoys a nice steak for Christmas dinner and the battle would be won.
And as a delightful bonus Bernard Matthews might be driven out of business. Bootiful!
posted by ChiefMoaner at 10:29 AM
4 Comments:
Happy birthday , greetings from holland.
SPION.
http://spion.punt.nl
Interestingly no-one her's big on turkey for christmas as satiated from Thanksgiving. Alternatively there are trying to avoid the record monthly downpour, unseasonal snow resulting in interstates resembling the Cresta run and hence 7 HOUR JOURNEY'S BACK FROM THE AIRPORT!!! and hurricanes that removes power and end up with 200 foot pine trees missing your house by inches
Have a great Christmas -
best R
Hi Richard
Not surprised that turkey is none too popular for American Christmas lunches. One turkey a year is enough for anyone (Adam Sandler being an obvious exception, his 'career' appears to be littered with 2 or three a year).
You draw an interesting picture of Christmas over there. It did make me think twice before moaning (to myself presumably) about the 'bloody cold' on the way to the station this morning. Of course similar conditions would have even more grave effects here. If a 200 foot pine tree crashing into the house sounds bad imagine a 200 foot plastic tree with Rudolf sitting in it suddenly joining you in your living room. Doesn't bear thinking about.
And as for the 7 hour journey from the airport - Pah - a mere 'slight delay' in the land of the M25!
Have a good Christmas.
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