Is it so bad being fat?
The gym. When was it that everyone started going to the gym?
I'm 10-15 years ago you never heard so much about gyms. Now everyone goes. Actually, sorry, I have inadvertently just typed the biggest lie on the internet. Noone fucking goes to the gym. Everyone is a member of a gym. In fact I have just come out of a very unpleasant period of being a member of two gyms at the same time. But thats another story.
Back to the point. The reason for this state of affairs can be explained by one word - GUILT!
Gyms guilt you into joining. If you observe their promotional activities throughout the year you will see what I mean. At the beginning of summer, its all 'get in shape for summer', 'wanna look good on the beach?' and 'hey you fat-fucker. You wanna be laughed at'. Or something. Gyms cut their prices for about a week to lure you in, drop their joining fees (JOINING FEE? ON TOP OF THE 70 QUID A MONTH!) and then when you are there you are trapped.
They then try again at New Year. Playing on ill-advised New Year Resolutions and the knowledge that eveyone has done nothing but eat for the past month. So, the gym 'special' offers come out again. Shameless.
The rest of the year is covered by people starting new jobs and people getting dumped by their girlfriends (the reason I first joined a gym. A different one to the one that the girl who dumped me joined of course)
So, you've joined. Then what? I'll tell you. You go for about a month. An outrageously attractive female (if you are male) or man (if you are a girl) puts you on a 'programme' in the gym, then you stop. The visits become less and less frequent until eventually they grind to a complete halt, and the only evidence of your membership is a huge direct debit on your bank statement.
Now, I have no problem with the gyms themselves. Playing on human stupidity is no crime. Its business. My problem is the curious place gyms have earned themselves in society.
We are told pretty much every week or so that Britain is fatter than ever. Yet everyone is a member of a gym. 15 years ago we were never told this, and only fitness fanatics went to gyms.
Its an absurd paradox. You spend lots of money NOT to go to the gym and run on a conveyor belt, and because in your mind you DO go to the gym, you think its okay to eat what you want (which of course IT IS - sorry Mr Oliver) and you don't think its worth going out and running on grass or the pavement, or playing football. Which is of course free, and is what we did before gyms were built.
I'm 10-15 years ago you never heard so much about gyms. Now everyone goes. Actually, sorry, I have inadvertently just typed the biggest lie on the internet. Noone fucking goes to the gym. Everyone is a member of a gym. In fact I have just come out of a very unpleasant period of being a member of two gyms at the same time. But thats another story.
Back to the point. The reason for this state of affairs can be explained by one word - GUILT!
Gyms guilt you into joining. If you observe their promotional activities throughout the year you will see what I mean. At the beginning of summer, its all 'get in shape for summer', 'wanna look good on the beach?' and 'hey you fat-fucker. You wanna be laughed at'. Or something. Gyms cut their prices for about a week to lure you in, drop their joining fees (JOINING FEE? ON TOP OF THE 70 QUID A MONTH!) and then when you are there you are trapped.
They then try again at New Year. Playing on ill-advised New Year Resolutions and the knowledge that eveyone has done nothing but eat for the past month. So, the gym 'special' offers come out again. Shameless.
The rest of the year is covered by people starting new jobs and people getting dumped by their girlfriends (the reason I first joined a gym. A different one to the one that the girl who dumped me joined of course)
So, you've joined. Then what? I'll tell you. You go for about a month. An outrageously attractive female (if you are male) or man (if you are a girl) puts you on a 'programme' in the gym, then you stop. The visits become less and less frequent until eventually they grind to a complete halt, and the only evidence of your membership is a huge direct debit on your bank statement.
Now, I have no problem with the gyms themselves. Playing on human stupidity is no crime. Its business. My problem is the curious place gyms have earned themselves in society.
We are told pretty much every week or so that Britain is fatter than ever. Yet everyone is a member of a gym. 15 years ago we were never told this, and only fitness fanatics went to gyms.
Its an absurd paradox. You spend lots of money NOT to go to the gym and run on a conveyor belt, and because in your mind you DO go to the gym, you think its okay to eat what you want (which of course IT IS - sorry Mr Oliver) and you don't think its worth going out and running on grass or the pavement, or playing football. Which is of course free, and is what we did before gyms were built.
posted by ChiefMoaner at 3:42 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home